RADIO SHOW/AUDIO PODCAST
Solutions...with Courtney Anderson! (SwCA)
Episode 245 -
Originally aired 5/1/2015 9:00 AM -
JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series -
“How Are You?”
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Solutions...with Courtney Anderson! (SwCA) has tens of thousands of downloads in over 40 countries and is growing! This is one of the fastest-growing global business podcasts! I am host Courtney E. Anderson and I have been featured as a business and legal expert for numerous media outlets including BusinessWeek, CNN - HLN, Cosmopolitan, MSNBC, USA Today, FOX News, CNN International, The Wall Street Journal and many more...
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TALK SHOW EPISODE NOTES
In our JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS™ series we explore how to combine the positive benefits of our professional endeavors (“business”) with the overall positive emotional return on our efforts (“joy”). The act of engaging in professional endeavors, in any capacity (i.e., as an employee, employer, entrepreneur, contractor, volunteer, paid, full time, part time, intermittently, etc.) is an expression of our ideas and creative talents (“art”).
This episode is, “How Are You?"
In this show we discuss A Stone* of Solutions™ including:
2. I want to know.
3. Cultural Etiquette, The United States, "The only proper answers to the greetings "How do you do?" "How are you?" or "How are you doing?" are "Fine," "Great," or "Very well, thank you." This is not a request for information about your well-being; it is simply a pleasantry." (http://www.ediplomat.com/np/cultural_etiquette/ce_us.htm)
4. I care about how you are physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, financially...
5. I am here to listen.
6. "How do I reply when Americans say "How are you doing" and I don't really feel good?
"I'm doing fine."
"Not too well."
"Ok I guess."
Sometimes, if you are really feeling it, tell them how we really feel.
Living in the U.S., we are asked this many times, and perhaps the greatest lie is "I'm fine."
Because you are not always fine.
But some are forced to say it because that's just how their business works.
Others actually care.
So, it's really up to you; be honest or make a small white lie."
7. How often are you asked about how you are doing by someone who cares about the answer?
8. Prioritize giving genuine, "How Are You?" interactions.
9. You may be the caring person who changes someone else's life.
10. "Hey, how are you" asks an American -- and is surprised when his German friend tells him that his pet ferret was killed by a car. " (
11. "The ‘Wrong’ Way to Answer ‘How Are You?’ - How are you?– Good. You?
– Pretty good.
– That’s good.
This was an actual exchange between two students sitting at my table in the dining hall. When I heard it, I literally burst out laughing and quipped, ”Well, that was a meaningful conversation.” Maybe I was being a bit insensitive but, although I have lived in the U.S. for more than two years and know this is a normal conversation, it still strikes me as odd.
One of the most challenging aspects of being an international student is that you not only have to master a foreign language, but also to recognize the meaning that hides behind the words.
Almost every day I am asked, “How are you?” or “How are you doing?” I’m expected to respond, “Good” or “Fine,” and ask the other person how they are, to which they will also respond, “Good.”
To this day, this style of greeting strikes me as an abuse of a question with which people show care and concern to one another in my culture. When somebody asks, “How are you?” in Hungary, I assume that person is truly interested in my well-being and wants to listen to what I have to share.
In the U.S., this expression means, “Hi,” and does not imply that the person is the least bit interested in my personal life. (http://blogs.voanews.com/student-union/2012/11/12/the-wrong-way-to-answer-how-are-you/)
12. Try saying what you feel. Substitute "Hi" for "How Are You?"
13. It is sacred to share authentic sentiments and events in your life with another person.
14. "After realizing what these great words of appreciation, care, and kindness mean in the U.S., one can feel a bit betrayed and resentful of their conversational partners, who suddenly seem superficial and insincere. But the expression is simply a cultural greeting; one should not misinterpret it as an initiation of profound conversation. In general, people from the U.S. do not like to express their emotions to strangers or acquaintances. They prefer to put on a permanent smile and mask their other feelings. The U.S. culture is based on individualism – the idea that one should only rely on one’s self and family – and this often leads them to avoid getting too close to others, including by using meaningful expressions in ways that might seem superficial to foreigners." (http://blogs.voanews.com/student-union/2012/11/12/the-wrong-way-to-answer-how-are-you/)
Please join me for this show and let's see what the three little words, "How Are You?" really mean!
*A stone is unit of measure equaling 14 pounds (so we have 14 elements in our one stone of solutions!).
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