RADIO SHOW/AUDIO PODCAST
Solutions...with Courtney Anderson! (SwCA)
Episode 162 -
Originally aired 8/6/2014 9:00 AM -
MYTH WARRIORS series -
“You Don't Have To Do Anything That You Don't Want To Do!”
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TALK SHOW EPISODE NOTESIn the MYTH WARRIORS™ series we are targeting ideas to begin to assess whether they are credible or not. We are warriors fighting to establish clarity between what is accurate and what is simply a myth (or falsehood) in life. This episode is, “You Don't Have To Do Anything That You Don't Want To Do!”
Angry. Bitter. Regretful. Ecstatic. Proud. Enthusiastic. I have worked with all types of people throughout my career. In some professional capacities people are at their lowest points (they are facing divorce, child custody conflict, probating the will of a loved one who has died, facing criminal charges, facing bankruptcy, etc.). As an attorney I have been needed by clients to address some of the most stressful, painful and difficult issues in life. In my other professional roles, for example, as a consultant and corporate educator, I have had the joy of working to elevate the performance of a business unit, addressed challenges with employee engagement, and assessed the organizational and cultural changes of going public (for a privately held firm). As an university educator I have celebrated with jubilant students on graduation day. There are so many opportunities. Highs and lows. Celebrations and pain. The one constant that I use to stay focused is that we all have choices (assuming that free will exists). I have had conversations as an attorney with people who are facing criminal charges and encouraged them to explore their potential options. Engaging in different behavior (not getting intoxicated, not stealing, etc.) may result in different outcomes (no additional criminal charges, etc.). The question of what we "have to do" is central to our understanding of our lives. Some people have made the argument that they have no choices and that they "have to work" or "pay taxes" or "keep this crummy job." I wonder. Are there people who are healthy (who could work) but simply choose not to? Yes. It is rare. Yet, it is an option. Are there people who are fully aware of their responsibility to pay taxes who choose not to do so? Yes. It is rare. Yet, it is an option. I have heard the retort, "Well, I don't want to be destitute! I don't want to go to prison!" I concur. I don't want those outcomes either so those are some of the many reasons that I choose to work and pay taxes. We have some ability to determine the most desired outcome and engage in behavior in furtherance of those goals. There are no guarantees. Some innocent people are wrongfully convicted and placed in prison. Some people who desperately desire a job are not offered one. The question is what do we have to do? Much less than many of us assert that we do. We do many things because we determine they are ethical, the "right thing" to do (such as help someone in need, take care of a sick friend, etc.). Some people claim that they "have to" take care of their children. Are there people who are healthy but choose not to take care of their children? Yes. It is very rare. Yet, it is an option. If we reframe our thinking and explore the possibilities of our input and our alternatives, we may view our lives in a more positive manner. If we feel unburdened by what "we have to do" and instead view our lives as the result of the choices we have made (to some extent), we may feel more empowered. So many people live other people's lives (their parents, their community, etc.) and don't experience the wonder and the rush of living their own lives. Many of them would prefer to conclude that it is a myth that "You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do," and they are inaccurate. It is NOT a myth. You do not have to do anything that you don't want to do. There are outcomes of those choices. Some of the outcomes are repugnant to you so you reject them. That is what we all do. We can discuss why you feel that outcome is undesirable and why you instead make different choices. Do I go to work? Do I take care of my kids? Do I take care of my employees? Do I stop smoking? Do I exercise? The list goes on and on. Of course we are constricted by our culture, our time period, external forces beyond our control. Yet, there are still more options than we may realize. In the show I mentioned one of my favorite quotes from Thurgood Marshall, the first African-American to serve on the United States Supreme Court. You may read a bio here http://www.pbs.org/wnet/supremecourt/rights/robes_marshall.html. The quote, in a work related discussion, "a law clerk would say, Judge, you can't do that." And regularly, Marshall would reply, "There are only two things I have to do- stay black and die." I don't have to do anything but stay black and die." (p. 185, Making Constitutional Law : Thurgood Marshall and the Supreme Court, 1961 ... By Mark Tushnet Associate Dean and Professor of Law Georgetown University Law Center). My interpretation is that someone like Justice Marshall who had literally fought as an attorney to change the entire legal and cultural system of segregation that he was born into did not perceive "have to" as a requirement but only as an option. As I mention in the show, one of my relatives worked with Justice Marshall as an attorney on some of these landmark cases that changed US law and culture. My maternal grandmother was Kathleen McMillan Whitlock Butler (née Durham). Her uncle was W. J. Durham. He was born in Texas in the US in 1896 and "by 1930 Durham was one of only 20 African-American lawyers in all of Texas. " (http://www.rockwallheraldbanner.com/opinion/x1054519589/Forged-in-fire-The-W-J-Durham-story/print) Here is a link to a photo of my Great-Great-Uncle (W.J. Durham) with Thurgood Marshall in 1959 when they working together in federal court on a school integration case at The Library of Congress at http://www.loc.gov/pictures/item/2004670157/ a collection of his papers at Texas Southern University http://www.tsulaw.edu/library/digitalcollection/durhampapers.html and the entry at the Texas State Historical Association at http://www.tshaonline.org/handbook/online/articles/fdu46. If people are able to envision a completely different society and make that a reality (via the law, public action, etc.) then I know that you and I are able to make changes in our lives. Let's start by determining what we "have to do" and what we choose to do! |
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