RADIO SHOW/AUDIO PODCAST
Solutions...with Courtney Anderson! (SwCA)
Episode 166 -
Originally aired 8/12/2014 9:00 AM -
SATISFACTION SATURATION™ series -
“I Am Used To Having Things MY WAY and I Have NO PATIENCE When They Aren't. Help Me!"
TALK SHOW EPISODE NOTESYou did it! You climbed that mountain (literally and/ or figuratively) and you are now resting at the summit. Breathe in that sweet air of accomplishment! Very nice. Okay, you take it all in (the view from here, the beauty, the joy of surpassing your goals, etc.). Feels awesome. Wait, are you starting to feel a bit bored? What are you going to do next? You could do nothing. You have already proven yourself and achieved many things in life. Why aren’t you simply resting on your laurels? What is the itch, the craving for the next part? It is SATISFACTION SATURATION™ and you are experiencing it.
You have “been there, done that and have the t-shirt.” You do not want anymore of this mountain. It has reached a point of saturation (as per the Merriam-Webster dictionary definition, “the act or result of supplying so much of something that no more is wanted”). You are craving a new mountain to climb. This series, “SATISFACTION SATURATION™”, is for you. We will address the challenges in reaching the SATISFACTION SATURATION state in regards to specific experiences, how to recognize it, how to treat it, how to prevent it, and how to handle the feedback from other people (“Must be nice to have that job, that house, that car, that award,” etc.). This specific episode is, “I Am Used To Having Things MY WAY and I Have NO PATIENCE When They Aren't. Help Me!" Who are we after an extended time period of being catered to by others? When we get used to having our needs and desires met (because we are the boss, the important client, the well paying supporter, etc.) it may result in us starting to believe that we deserve to be catered to and treated as a “special” person. We get used to having our meals served as we prefer and not having to wait in lines (because we are granted special access or we pay for extra convenience). Our ability to tolerate discomfort and to simply wait passively for attention is reduced. We start to think that any obstacle in our path is simply a temporary issue that with money or other resources will be removed from our life. We know that we can often leverage our income and/ or power to make our lives easier. This is one of the primary reasons we made the sacrifices that we did to surpass our goals! We treat ourselves to our favorite experiences and why not? Yet, we are quick to anger and become frustrated when we hear that magic word that no human likes directed towards their request, “No.” We hear this word more rarely now (for some it is a faint memory from an earlier time that they try to forget). Everyone is usually so “nice” to us (asking us if we need anything, checking on our preferences, paying attention to us, etc.). Instead of that dreaded word “no”, in a stressful situation (where we are not immediately receiving what we desire) we may be told, “let me see what I can do for you.” We change our thinking and behavior and start to expect attentive deference. Why not? We pay top dollar. We are a great customer or client. Why shouldn’t we be treated as someone who is important by employees, vendors, and even family or friends who we “help” with our guidance and generosity? The prolonged exposure to having our needs and desires met, to not hearing “No” may result in us becoming intolerant, impatient and a pathetic caricature of the pampered, incessantly demanding and insensitive “successful” person. STOP! We are not that spoiled, insipid, whiny baby who always has to have things our way. So, why are we acting like that? “As a person’s levels of wealth increase, their feelings of compassion and empathy go down, and their feelings of entitlement, of deservingness, and their ideology of self-interest increases,” (http://blog.ted.com/2013/12/20/6-studies-of-money-and-the-mind/) How did this happen? Because what brought us to this point of surpassing our goals (and of satisfaction saturation) is the some thing that is now poisoning our patience. 1) Confidence: “Perhaps the clearest, and most useful, definition of confidence we came across was the one supplied by Richard Petty, a psychology professor at Ohio State University, who has spent decades focused on the subject. “Confidence,” he told us, “is the stuff that turns thoughts into action.” (http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/04/the-confidence-gap/359815/) 2) “Do the doable, then push it” (http://www.inc.com/magazine/20110201/how-great-entrepreneurs-think.html) We have faith in ourselves. We have no limits to our dreams and goals. We are tenacious and inventive. This is our problem. Solutions? “Conversely, feelings of gratitude, induced by asking participants to recount their positive past experiences, made people more willing to tolerate delays.” (http://www.foreignaffairs.com/articles/141640/johannes-haushofer/the-price-of-poverty) Admitting the issue is awesome. It is embarrassing to accept that our behavior may have become impatient and intolerant. Yet it is within our power to stop this self-destructive entitlement behavior pattern and reconnect with the core of our generosity and empathy. We have to marshall our resources to remain open (to other people, to experiences we don’t like, to being uncomfortable, ignored or disappointed). We are better than this behavior. |
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