COURTNEY ELIZABETH ANDERSON, J.D., M.B.A, M.S., is the "Workplace Relationship Expert"™  practicing the "Joyful Art of Business" ™
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    • COMMUNICATIONS COMMUNIQUÉ series >
      • SwCA Episode 244: COMMUNICATIONS COMMUNIQUÉ series: Say Your Name, Say Your Name
      • SwCA Episode 234: COMMUNICATIONS COMMUNIQUÉ series: Speak Up!
      • SwCA Episode 211: COMMUNICATIONS COMMUNIQUÉ series: Is Your Speaking Speed Sabotaging Your Career?
      • SwCA Episode 205: COMMUNICATIONS COMMUNIQUÉ series: Is Your Verbal Crutch Creating Chaos?
      • SwCA Episode 182: COMMUNICATIONS COMMUNIQUÉ series: How to Use Your Voice to Succeed in a Phone Job Interview!
    • COURTNEY! I AM CURIOUS series >
      • SwCA Episode 190: COURTNEY! I AM CURIOUS series: How Did You Open Your Own Law Firm At Age 26?
      • SwCA Episode 184: COURTNEY! I AM CURIOUS series: How did you buy your first home at age 27 as a single woman?
      • SwCA Episode 179: COURTNEY! I AM CURIOUS series: How Did You Graduate From College With Your Bachelor’s Degree at 20 Years Old?
      • SwCA Episode 175: COURTNEY! I AM CURIOUS series: What Does It Mean That You Are The Workplace Relationship Expert?
      • SwCA Episode 169: COURTNEY! I AM CURIOUS series: Aren’t You Scared Traveling All Around The World As A Woman?
    • EDUCATORS’ EDEN series >
      • SwCA Episode 195: EDUCATORS’ EDEN series: Teaching Gifted Students!
      • SwCA Episode 170: EDUCATORS’ EDEN series: Why Don’t Students Read…the Syllabus, Assignment Instructions, My Email, etc.?
      • SwCA Episode 163: EDUCATORS’ EDEN series: Grading Feedback...How Much Is Too Much?
      • SwCA Episode 146: EDUCATORS’ EDEN series: Sage on the stage? Good, bad, obsolete?
      • SwCA Episode 138: EDUCATORS’ EDEN series: Teaching the Underachiever!
      • SwCA Episode 133: EDUCATORS’ EDEN series: How to Handle Grade Disputes (I never got a _ grade before)!
      • SwCA Episode 119: EDUCATORS’ EDEN series: Teaching the Overachiever!
      • SwCA Episode 088: EDUCATORS’ EDEN series: What is the right college for my first online teaching job?
      • SwCA Episode 083: EDUCATORS’ EDEN series: Teaching college courses online is easy!…NOT!
      • SwCA Episode 057: EDUCATORS’ EDEN series: The most important teaching tool is passion? Really?
      • SwCA Episode 041: EDUCATORS’ EDEN series: Connecting with students? How much is too much? Not enough? - Part 2 of 2
      • SwCA Episode 040: EDUCATORS’ EDEN series: Connecting with students? How much is too much? Not enough? - Part 1 of 2
    • ENTREPRENEUR EXPOSE´ series >
      • SwCA Episode 023: ENTREPRENEUR EXPOSE’ series: John Derr Interview, The LornaDave Agency (LornaDave.com)
      • SwCA Episode 013: ENTREPRENEUR EXPOSE´series: Ms. Barbara Largent Interview (TheBaronessSalon.com)
    • FAILURE FLASHBACK! series >
      • SwCA Episode 117: FAILURE FLASHBACK! series: I let someone else make me doubt myself.
      • SwCA Episode 087: FAILURE FLASHBACK! series: I am failing a class.
      • SwCA Episode 067: FAILURE FLASHBACK series: I am broke. - Part 2 of 2
      • SwCA Episode 066: FAILURE FLASHBACK series: I am broke. - Part 1 of 2
    • FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series >
      • SwCA Episode 240: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Behind On Bills? What to Pay First…
      • SwCA Episode 237: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Do Not Invest In Anything That You Do Not Fully Understand.
      • SwCA Episode 226: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: What If I Have No Money Saved For Retirement?
      • SwCA Episode 213: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness, But It Buys Options.
      • SwCA Episode 210: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Why You Need A Private Banker!
      • SwCA Episode 206: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Never Mention A Number First When Negotiating A Salary.
      • SwCA Episode 191: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Be EASY To Work With (or be broke).
      • SwCA Episode 156: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Suze Orman Is Right! You Can’t Afford It and Neither Can I!
      • SwCA Episode 152: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Getting Rich Is Easy. Staying Rich Is Hard. Why That Is And How To Beat The Odds.
      • SwCA Episode 144: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Why I LOVE Paying Taxes! Seriously.
      • SwCA Episode 141: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Why ultra-wealthy (beyond rich) people love bargains (and why you should too)!
      • SwCA Episode 123: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Why am I always living paycheck to paycheck even when I get salary increases?
      • SwCA Episode 118: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: What Rich families know about college that Poor families don't.
      • SwCA Episode 113: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Never have only one income stream! DIVERSIFY! (Baskets of Money)
      • SwCA Episode 110: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Why a good job making good money will leave you poor.
      • SwCA Episode 089: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Rich on $1,800 USD (or less) a month? Really!? How?
      • SwCA Episode 054: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: How to buy a home with challenges (credit, single, etc.)!
      • SwCA Episode 047: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: How to buy your first (or next, or best) home!
      • SwCA Episode 025: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Always have the ability to support yourself financially!
      • SwCA Episode 024: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Credit score, who cares?! You should...here's why. - Part 2 of 2
      • SwCA Episode 022: FINANCIAL FIERCENESS! series: Credit score, who cares?! You should...here's why. - Part 1 of 2
    • HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series >
      • SwCA Episode 246: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How Do I Handle Haters?
      • SwCA Episode 243: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I Do Not Ask For Help Enough.
      • SwCA Episode 235: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I Look Young And People Don’t Take Me Seriously At Work.
      • SwCA Episode 230: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: It Is A Holiday And I Am All Alone.
      • SwCA Episode 227: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I Deserve My Dream Job!
      • SwCA Episode 223: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I Am Uncomfortable Around People More Successful Than I Am!
      • SwCA Episode 217: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I Gave My Boss Great Ideas AND They Were Ignored.
      • SwCA Episode 212: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I Apply For Jobs But Am Told I Am OVERQUALIFIED!
      • SwCA Episode 209: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: My Spouse Moves Frequently For Work So I Am Unable To Get A Job!
      • SwCA Episode 203: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: My Life Is A Roller Coaster and I Want It To Be A Carousel.
      • SwCA Episode 197: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: Does It Really Matter Where I Go To College? Yes.
      • SwCA Episode 192: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How Do I Protect Myself While Remaining Open To New People?
      • SwCA Episode 188: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: Why Doesn’t My Experience Mean MORE Than Credentials?
      • SwCA Episode 181: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: A Work Colleague Has Experienced A Tragic Death of A Loved One. What Should I Do?
      • SwCA Episode 177: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I am being subjected to The Silent Treatment from someone. How do I handle it?
      • SwCA Episode 165: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I Was Taught That I Have to Be Twice As Good As Them…and I Am Exhausted.
      • SwCA Episode 160: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I want to be someone else.
      • SwCA Episode 153: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: They Don't Want Me Here.
      • SwCA Episode 150: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I Keep Getting Fired From Jobs! What Should I Do?
      • SwCA Episode 140: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How do I know when to Never Give Up! versus when to Let it Go?
      • SwCA Episode 136: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I Am Addicted to Approval (from everyone)!
      • SwCA Episode 132: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: Something AWESOME happened in my life! But no one else is happy for me.
      • SwCA Episode 129: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I went to school, but never finished! How can I use the education I have?
      • SwCA Episode 121: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: People tell me that I am too intense! What should I do?
      • SwCA Episode 116: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I Am Shy but People Think I am Stuck-Up and a Snob! What should I do?
      • SwCA Episode 111: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I Feel Invisible.
      • SwCA Episode 109: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How do I Handle Frenemies (friend/enemy) at Work?
      • SwCA Episode 103: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: Do smart gals & nice guys finish last? I am Successful at Work...Why am I Single?
      • SwCA Episode 101: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: REJECTION. How do I handle it?
      • SwCA Episode 097: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: He hasn’t called! What does it mean?
      • SwCA Episode 096: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How do I know if someone is really my friend?
      • SwCA Episode 091: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I Do My Job And Their Job! Am I a SUPERSTAR or a SUCKER?!
      • SwCA Episode 085: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How Do I Let Go Of My Anger?
      • SwCA Episode 082: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How do I pick the right college for my first degree?
      • SwCA Episode 080: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I am addicted to self pity!
      • SwCA Episode 071: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: My work makes me happy! I love my job too much! …Am I crazy?
      • SwCA Episode 061: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: My boss hates me, what do I do? How can I save my job?
      • SwCA Episode 056: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How do I handle jealousy at work?
      • SwCA Episode 044: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How am I supposed to follow my passion when I don’t know what it is?
      • SwCA Episode 043: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How do I handle/ survive a Difficult (or Abusive) boss? - Part 2 of 2
      • SwCA Episode 042: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How do I handle/ survive a Difficult (or Abusive) boss? - Part 1 of 2
      • SwCA Episode 039: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I HATE my job!…What should I do?
      • SwCA Episode 030: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How do I respond to insults and intimidation at work? - Part 3 of 3
      • SwCA Episode 029: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How do I respond to insults and intimidation at work? - Part 2 of 3
      • SwCA Episode 028: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How do I respond to insults and intimidation at work? - Part 1 of 3
      • SwCA Episode 027: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I feel like I will never be successful. What can I do?
      • SwCA Episode 017: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: Is my resume keeping me poor? How do I get a high income?
      • SwCA Episode 014: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: Should I stay or should I go?
      • SwCA Episode 011: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: I have 70,000 thoughts per day?! Really?!
      • SwCA Episode 009: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: You are the only you (e.g., age, gender, etc.) in the group!
      • SwCA Episode 002: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How to Keep Your Composure at Work (aka - the no crying zone)
      • SwCA Episode 001: HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series: How To Appear on a National TV Show and NOT Embarrass Yourself!
    • HR HEROES HANGOUT series >
      • SwCA Episode 229: HR HEROES HANGOUT series: The Office Bully. Are They Bullying You?
      • SwCA Episode 224: HR HEROES HANGOUT series: One Employee That Files Multiple HR Complaints; Problem or Present?
      • SwCA Episode 219: HR HEROES HANGOUT series: When Team Building Turns Into Team Destruction.
      • SwCA Episode 183: HR HEROES HANGOUT series: How HR Helps (or hurts) Retention in the Hiring Process!
      • SwCA Episode 158: HR HEROES HANGOUT series: How much law do I really need to know to succeed in the HR field?
      • SwCA Episode 126: HR HEROES HANGOUT series: Whose side is HR really on? Employer or Employee?
      • SwCA Episode 100: HR HEROES HANGOUT series: What does employment at will really mean?
      • SwCA Episode 075: HR HEROES HANGOUT series: Harassment free workplace?! The easy way to create one?!
      • SwCA Episode 051: HR HEROES HANGOUT series: Creating Corporate Training that Changes Behavior!
      • SwCA Episode 037: HR HEROES HANGOUT series: Make your staff members HR fans and supporters?!
      • SwCA Episode 036: HR HEROES HANGOUT series: Make your managers and executives HR fans and supporters!!
      • SwCA Episode 034: HR HEROES HANGOUT series: Employee evaluations that create lawsuits? Not on your watch!
    • JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series >
      • SwCA Episode 245: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: How Are You?
      • SwCA Episode 239: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: Grit. Hustle. Tenacity. Necessary?
      • SwCA Episode 236: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: Please and Thank-You Will Take You Far In Business.
      • SwCA Episode 233: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: To Be Successful, Be Specific.
      • SwCA Episode 225: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them (the first time)!
      • SwCA Episode 207: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: Ask For What You Want AND Be Prepared To Get It.
      • SwCA Episode 199: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: Never Make Someone A Priority When All You Are To Them Is An Option.
      • SwCA Episode 194: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: You Don’t Need To Be THE BEST, You Just Need To BE (THERE).
      • SwCA Episode 187: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: The Real Reason You Can’t Have It All Is…
      • SwCA Episode 180: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: Would you rather be a pig happy or Socrates unhappy?
      • SwCA Episode 176: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: Each Time That You Treat Yourself Badly, Your Enemies Rejoice. So, STOP.
      • SwCA Episode 171: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: GO BIG or GO HOME! Except for with people, money and health.
      • SwCA Episode 167: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: I Am Competing With Three Billion People For My Job! Really?
      • SwCA Episode 164: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: Why You Have To Apply For Jobs You Don't Think You Are Qualified For!
      • SwCA Episode 159: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: Is The Size of Your Vocabulary Limiting the Size of Your Paycheck?
      • SwCA Episode 157: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: Fake It 'Til You Make It?
      • SwCA Episode 149: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: Where is your Idea Generation Location?
      • SwCA Episode 145: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: RECIPROCITY! Is it REQUIRED for Professional Success?
      • SwCA Episode 143: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: Replace TRY with DO!
      • SwCA Episode 139: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: Are you a prisoner of your own hope (unhappy & hoping for change)?
      • SwCA Episode 135: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: Lead. Follow. Or, get out of the way.
      • SwCA Episode 134: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: Who told you that you weren’t good enough? Why do you believe them?
      • SwCA Episode 128: JOYFUL ART of BUSINESS! series: Steve Jobs: Legacy? Lesson? Stay Hungry? Stay Foolish?
      • SwCA Episode 125: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: Separate the probable (most likely to happen) from the possible (might happen)!
      • SwCA Episode 122: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: Other people’s craziness has not managed to make me crazy.
      • SwCA Episode 114: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: Why do people do what they do? Because they want to and they are allowed to.
      • SwCA Episode 108: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all.
      • SwCA Episode 104: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: I am not here by accident. I am here by MY choice.
      • SwCA Episode 099: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: What they call you is one thing. What you answer to is something else.
      • SwCA Episode 092: JOYFUL ART of BUSINESS series: I am bored. Is this all there is to life?
      • SwCA Episode 078: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: I am not a people person...what jobs are best for me?
      • SwCA Episode 073: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: I am getting by, but how do I get ahead?
      • SwCA Episode 070: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: I never intended to become a run-of-the-mill person. - Barbara Jordan
      • SwCA Episode 064: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: The joy of working with less than competent people (aka idiots are awesome!)
      • SwCA Episode 060: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: I have to love myself before I can love anyone else! BUT, how do I love myself?
      • SwCA Episode 058: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: How am I supposed to be joyful when horrible things keep happening?
      • SwCA Episode 053: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: The Client Experience Employee: Transform your career! - Part 2 of 2
      • SwCA Episode 052: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: The Client Experience Employee: Transform your career! - Part 1 of 2
      • SwCA Episode 026: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: BE OF SERVICE. In work. In life.
      • SwCA Episode 015: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: REGRETS? Possible to have none? Do we all have some?
      • SwCA Episode 010: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.
      • SwCA Episode 005: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: What's holding you back from surpassing your goals?
      • SwCA Episode 004: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS series: How to get interviewed by leading media organizations...
      • SwCA Episode 003: JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series: Business Solutions (results are rewarded)!
    • LAW LOVER'S LOUNGE series >
      • SwCA Episode 107: LAW LOVER'S LOUNGE series: What are my Free Speech rights at work? Tell me!
      • SwCA Episode 084: LAW LOVER’S LOUNGE series: A marriage license is just a piece of paper! Or, is it?
      • SwCA Episode 079: LAW LOVER’S LOUNGE series: I think I am being harassed at work. Am I? How do I know?
      • SwCA Episode 074: LAW LOVER’S LOUNGE series: I don't have any stuff, I don't need a will, right?!
      • SwCA Episode 068: LAW LOVER’S LOUNGE series: How Do I STOP My Ex From Seeing Our Kids?!
      • SwCA Episode 063: LAW LOVER’S LOUNGE series: I have been sued...by my credit card company, what now? - Part 2 of 2
      • SwCA Episode 062: LAW LOVER’S LOUNGE series: I have been sued...by my credit card company, what now?- Part 1 of 2
      • SwCA Episode 059: LAW LOVERS' LOUNGE series: How do I Hire a Criminal Defense Attorney?
      • SwCA Episode 050: LAW LOVER’S LOUNGE series: Should I take a plea in my criminal case?
      • SwCA Episode 048: LAW LOVER’S LOUNGE: I think that I am about to be sued for divorce…now what?
      • SwCA Episode 046: LAW LOVER’S LOUNGE series: Uh-oh, I have been pulled over by the police, now what? - Part 2 of 2
      • SwCA Episode 045: LAW LOVER’S LOUNGE series: Uh-oh, I have been pulled over by the police, now what? - Part 1 of 2
      • SwCA Episode 033: LAW LOVER'S LOUNGE series: I think that I am about to be fired...what should I do? - Part 2 of 2
      • SwCA Episode 032: LAW LOVER'S LOUNGE series: I think that I am about to be fired...what should I do? - Part 1 of 2
      • SwCA Episode 012: LAW LOVER'S LOUNGE series: Does a Power of Attorney have any real power?
    • MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series >
      • SwCA Episode 238: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: That Is Not Part of My Job!
      • SwCA Episode 231: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: Leaders Are Not Liked. They Are Respected.
      • SwCA Episode 221: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: When Was the Last Time You Asked Your Employees About Their Goals?
      • SwCA Episode 200: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: Why Telling Someone to Think Different or to Think Outside The Box Always Fails.
      • SwCA Episode 185: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: I Love Being A Leader. Yet, I Am Lonely. Is It Really Lonely At The Top?
      • SwCA Episode 173: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: Are Your Insecurities and Fears Preventing Employee Empowerment?
      • SwCA Episode 155: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: How to effectively avoid the Mean Manager Syndrome!
      • SwCA Episode 147: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: Being Powerful is Like Being a Lady. If You Have to Say You Are, You Aren’t.
      • SwCA Episode 131: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: I am Lucky! My Team is Marvelous! How Do I Get Them To Stay?
      • SwCA Episode 127: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: How much of a Leader does a Manager need to be?
      • SwCA Episode 115: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: If my title says manager, why do I feel like a babysitter?
      • SwCA Episode 105: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: Critical thinking staff or obedient staff? Pick only one.
      • SwCA Episode 098: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: How to Successfully Manage People that You Do Not Like!
      • SwCA Episode 093: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: SUPERSTARS!! How to make them stay and not burn-out!
      • SwCA Episode 038: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: Dealing with Difficult People?…Easy! Here’s How..
      • SwCA Episode 035: MANAGEMENT MAGICIANS series: Never Promote the Best Performer...here's why!
    • MEETING MAYHEM! series >
      • SwCA Episode 220: MEETING MAYHEM! series: Virtual Meetings and Time Zone Treatment!
      • SwCA Episode 216: MEETING MAYHEM! series: Virtual Meetings and MUTE!
    • MYTH WARRIORS series >
      • SwCA Episode 228: MYTH Warriors series: If It Seems Too Good To Be True, It Probably Is.
      • SwCA Episode 218: MYTH WARRIORS series: Everybody Knows That….
      • SwCA Episode 208: MYTH WARRIORS series: Your Employer Is NOT Responsible For Your Happiness.
      • SwCA Episode 204: MYTH WARRIORS series: It's Complicated.
      • SwCA Episode 202: MYTH WARRIORS series: You Cannot Make Another Person Happy.
      • SwCA Episode 196: MYTH WARRIORS series: You Reap What You Sow.
      • SwCA Episode 186: MYTH WARRIORS series: Failing To Plan is Planning To Fail
      • SwCA Episode 174: MYTH WARRIORS series: We All Need Someone To Believe In Us.
      • SwCA Episode 168: MYTH WARRIORS series: Everything Happens For a Reason.
      • SwCA Episode 162: MYTH WARRIORS series: You Don't Have To Do Anything That You Don't Want To Do!
      • SwCA Episode 154: MYTH WARRIORS series: Why The Smartest Thing You Can Say Is I Don't Know.
      • SwCA Episode 151: MYTH WARRIORS series: Stereotype Threat does not exist.
      • SwCA Episode 148: MYTH WARRIORS series: You Get No More Out of Life Than You Demand. - Edythe Heslip
      • SwCA Episode 142: MYTH WARRIORS series: If It Was EASY, Everyone Would Do It!
      • SwCA Episode 137: MYTH WARRIORS! series: Taking college courses online is easy!
      • SwCA Episode 130: MYTH WARRIORS! series: Trying to lean on someone who bends is futile.
      • SwCA Episode 124: MYTH WARRIORS! series: You are not a helpless victim.
      • SwCA Episode 120: MYTH WARRIORS! series: We cannot create what we can't imagine.
      • SwCA Episode 112: MYTH WARRIORS! series: Don’t take NO for an answer!
      • SwCA Episode 106: MYTH WARRIORS! series: Attractive people make more money than unattractive people!
      • SwCA Episode 102: MYTH WARRIORS! series: I am an INTJ (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). (Or, am I?)
      • SwCA Episode 095: MYTH WARRIORS! series: Nobody can teach me who I am. - Chinua Achebe
      • SwCA Episode 094: MYTH WARRIORS series: You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized...
      • SwCA Episode 090: MYTH WARRIORS series: Only 6% of all individuals in the US earn $100,000 USD a year!?
      • SwCA Episode 086: MYTH WARRIORS! series: What does not kill me, makes me stronger. - Friedrich Nietzsche
      • SwCA Episode 081: MYTH WARRIORS! series: Professional success is based on who you know, NOT what you know!
      • SwCA Episode 077: MYTH WARRIORS! series: I am scared. My fear is holding me back in life. - Part 2 of 2
      • SwCA Episode 076: MYTH WARRIORS! series: I am scared. My fear is holding me back in life. - Part 1 of 2
      • SwCA Episode 072: MYTH WARRIORS! series: I am too _____ to find the awesome job of my dreams! (Okay).
      • SwCA Episode 069: MYTH WARRIORS! series: Happiness is a choice!
      • SwCA Episode 055: MYTH WARRIORS! series: I am too _____ to find the relationship of my dreams! (Okay).
      • SwCA Episode 049: MYTH WARRIORS! series: Women who succeed professionally fail in personal relationships.
      • SwCA Episode 031: MYTH WARRIORS series: In a fight against yourself, you will always lose. So, stop.
      • SwCA Episode 021: MYTH WARRIORS series: A degree is just a piece of paper!
      • SwCA Episode 020: MYTH WARRIORS series: Speakers earn $5,000 an hour, no education required! - Part 3 of 3
      • SwCA Episode 019: MYTH WARRIORS series: Speakers earn $5,000 an hour, no education required! - Part 2 of 3
      • SwCA Episode 018: MYTH WARRIORS series: Speakers earn $5,000 an hour, no education required! - Part 1 of 3
      • SwCA Episode 016: MYTH WARRIORS series: I need a mentor!
      • SwCA Episode 008: MYTH WARRIORS series: I can't go on!
      • SwCA Episode 007: MYTH WARRIORS series: I don't know what to do?!
      • SwCA Episode 006: MYTH WARRIORS series: I don't have the time!
    • SATISFACTION SATURATION series >
      • SwCA Episode 241: SATISFACTION SATURATION series: How Do You Cope When Reality Begins to Exceed Your Dreams?
      • SwCA Episode 214: SATISFACTION SATURATION series: I Am Tired of Hearing, Must be Nice…, From People.
      • SwCA Episode 201: SATISFACTION SATURATION series: Everyone Tells Me What I Want To Hear. How Can I Get Honest Feedback?
      • SwCA Episode 193: SATISFACTION SATURATION series: My Life Is More Awesome Than I Ever Dreamed! I Am Grateful But Also Feel Guilty. Help!
      • SwCA Episode 189: SATISFACTION SATURATION series: Have You Already Peaked (is it downhill from here)?
      • SwCA Episode 178: SATISFACTION SATURATION series: I Am Successful. I Am NOT Happy. Why?
      • SwCA Episode 166: SATISFACTION SATURATION series: I Am Used To Having Things MY WAY and I Have NO PATIENCE When They Aren't. Help Me!
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RADIO SHOW/AUDIO PODCAST
Solutions...with Courtney Anderson! (SwCA) 
Episode 181 - 
Originally aired 9/02/2014 9:00 AM - 
HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series -
 "A Work Colleague Has Experienced A Tragic Death of A Loved One. What Should I Do?”

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TALK SHOW EPISODE NOTES

The HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT™ series addresses challenges, obstacles and problems (real or perceived) that are preventing a person from surpassing their goals! In this series, we shine the light on challenges that community members have shared. This episode is, “A Work Colleague Has Experienced A Tragic Death of A Loved One. What Should I Do?”

Life. Death is a reality for all of us. A tragic death (accident, homicide, suicide, etc.) is not. What do you do if a tragic death becomes a reality for a work colleague?  

1) Be there.
2) Listen.


If you have experienced a tragic death in your life you have an advantage (in some respects) when your work colleague experiences one in their lives. The compassion, empathy and understanding that a tragic death survivor is able to provide to another person is an asset. 

The natural aversion to the colleague (from people who have not experienced a real life tragic death themselves) is understandable at some level. We all hear about tragic death. It is on the news. It is in our media in film, music, poetry, video games, etc., yet that is an abstract awareness devoid of the devastation of the actual child, spouse, friend, boss, parent, partner, that we know who is gone. 

The most ‘helpful’ things you should do, I repeat:
1) Be there.
2) Listen.

I learned about these types of situations when my only sibling committed suicide. 

With a tragic death there are also the extra issues to deal with in many instances of media inquires and coverage. This forces public attention on the survivors. In many instances it is the only public information about their loved one and it defines their entire life into often graphic and painful details of their demise. The loved one with a name, a personality, a special smile, is reduced to a headline. I still remember the online complaints on the local news sites that the police investigation into my sibling’s death was blocking traffic and how people were angry and inconvenienced by the delays. Wow. People. 

I) DO NOT:

a) Discuss your belief system (religious, spiritual, atheistic, scientific, etc.). It gives you comfort and that is fantastic. Yet, this situation is not about you. If you believe that it is “better” for the loved one or that they are “being punished” this is not the time for sharing. Even if you and your work colleague have previously shared about your similar beliefs (in other contexts), this is not the time. Do not add to the burden of the work colleague right now (addressing some conversation about beliefs, etc.). Do not. 
b) Discuss your own life and how “grateful” you are that your child, parent, friend, spouse, etc., is alive and not the victim of a tragic death. Do not share how “it could have been my child.”
c) Discuss how “you understand how it feels” (and then talk about a non tragic death such as when your great grandfather died naturally at 105 years old or how your sister was ill last year but is still alive). The tragic death and non-tragic death are not the same. Your failure to acknowledge that is a burden to your work colleague. 
d) Discuss how you “can’t imagine” what they are going through. Duh. So, why say it. Do you think they wanted to imagine or experience this?
e) Ask them “how they are?” You know how they are. Just say “hello” instead.  
f) Try to “change the subject” as there is no other subject. I know it is so painful to listen to them but you must.
g) Do not judge them. They are in agony. They may say things that are shocking or painful for you to hear. Do not judge. Just listen. 
h) Do not burden the colleague. They are not equipped to handle it right now (no matter how they are acting or how they “seem” to be to you). 

I know that many people say that they don’t know what to say so that is why these types of inappropriate content spill out of their mouths. This show is intended to address exactly that issue. You don’t need to say anything.

Shut-up.
This is not about you. Your nervous talking is not helping. Do not pester the work colleague with questions even if well intentioned (“how can I help”, “what time is the service”, “do you want me to cover for you in the meeting next week”, etc.). Shut-up.

The most ‘helpful’ things you should do, I repeat:
1) Be there.
2) Listen.


Do monitor the person for basic survival issues (hydration, food, sleep). Bring them something to drink. Bring them something to eat. Sit with them and make sure they drink something. Don’t say anything about it, just give it to them. Then keep listening. I know that the desire to leave is incredibly strong. Everyone wants the tragedy to “go away.” No one more than the colleague whose loved one is dead. Yet, they are not able to “leave it” so if you volunteer to be there with them and listen, it is truly brave (and appreciated). Listen. 

NOTE: If the work colleague who is grieving shows signs that need professional help, get it for them immediately! They may have physical and/ or psychological situations that require professional help (dehydration, self harm, post traumatic stress disorder, etc.) Contact emergency services immediately! Better safe than sorry.

II) DO:

a) Educate yourself about some of the research on grief (which is heightened and enhanced with a tragic death):

i) There are no rules. 
We often think of the work of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross regarding stages of grief and then want to tell people to “move on” or “get over it” or “accept it.” There are no rules so you have no right to try to impose expectations on your work colleague. 
Consider, “The five stages of grief are so deeply embedded in our culture that they've become virtually inescapable. Every time we experience loss — whether personal or national — we hear them recited: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. […]
If you were to read Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's On Death and Dying — the book that in 1969 gave the five stages their debut — for the first time today, you might be surprised to discover that Kübler-Ross, then a staff psychiatrist at Billings Hospital in Chicago, was actually writing about the experience of facing one's own death, not the death of someone else. It was other practitioners, having found the stages so irresistibly prescriptive, who began applying them to grief, a repurposing that Kübler-Ross encouraged.” (http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2042372,00.html)

ii) Understand what grief actually is (not what it looks like in a movie or television show).
“Scientists have found that grief, like fear, is a stress reaction, attended by deep physiological changes. Levels of stress hormones like cortisol increase. Sleep patterns are disrupted. The immune system is weakened. Mourners may experience loss of appetite, palpitations, even hallucinations. They sometimes imagine that the deceased has appeared to them, in the form of a bird, say, or a cat. It is not unusual for a mourner to talk out loud—to cry out—to a lost one, in an elevator, or while walking the dog.” […] Many mourners experience grief as a kind of isolation—one that is exacerbated by the fact that one’s peers, neighbors, and co-workers may not really want to know how you are. We’ve adopted a sort of “ask, don’t tell” policy. The question “How are you?” is an expression of concern, but mourners quickly figure out that it shouldn’t be mistaken for an actual inquiry.  […] the painful fact of mourning remains: even a good death is seldom good for the survivors. (http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2010/02/01/good-grief?currentPage=all)

A tragic death is not “a good death” and I don’t know if that even exists. There are certainly differences between a prepared for death (long illness, old age, etc.) and one that strikes out of blue and destroys everything that a survivor believed their life to be. What is a parent with a dead child? What is a sister with no sibling? What is a daughter with no parents? Hopefully you will never experience a tragic death of someone you love. If you are brave enough to expose yourself to the rawest emotions of another person who has experienced a tragic death, you may find that you learn more about what it means to be alive than you ever anticipated. 

The most ‘helpful’ things you should do, I repeat:
1) Be there.
2) Listen.


iii) If you sit in silence, sit in silence. The person may want to talk about their loved one (just like you do for your alive loved ones). Listen. No matter how repetitious, how sad, how much it hurts you to listen. You will take some of their burden by sharing some of their pain. 
iv) There is no solution. So, that is why you are there and listen. There is nothing you can say or do to “fix” anything. Please remember that the isolation for your work colleague will be more pronounced the more time has elapsed since the tragedy. So, you volunteering to be there and listen will mean so much a month, a year, a decade later. Remember, the work colleague will have many people who intentionally avoid them because “it makes other people sad” to be reminded of the tragic accident, homicide or suicide that resulted in the death of their loved one. They are living reminder for many other people of a bad, sad, tragic thing that other would prefer to forget.

 Also, there are a small minority of people who are narcissists who will be jealous of  “the attention” that they perceive your work colleagues receives. This type of person will say, “they need to stop taking about it already! It has been a long time! They just want us to feel sorry for them!” This is not accurate as a person in grief is not even aware of other people or their needs for attention. I had to mention this type of person as you may encounter them in the workplace disparaging your colleague. Pathetic. 

Just be there. Just listen. If it seems like it is to “too much” for you to handle when they cry, scream, whimper, relive the tragedy, relive the last moments of their old life before this happened; remember that you are only sharing a minuscule percentage of what they are feeling 100% of the time. 

I know it is scary to be there and listen. It is uncomfortable. It makes you worry that this tragic event could happen to you or someone you love. I know. That is why your bravery to be there and listen for this work colleague is so meaningful. You are facing your fear and placing the other person’s needs before your own (to get away from this pain and get away from them). 

In this show I discuss the information I acquired in my training as a victim services volunteer. Here is the program that I went through, “The Victim Assistance Volunteer Team is a group of highly trained volunteers, specializing in crisis intervention for survivors, witnesses and families who have been traumatized by the experience of death, serious injury, violent crime, or natural disaster.” (http://www.wilco.org/countydepartments/victimassistance). 

If you think that you would be able to be of service in a victim services role with your local law enforcement department, please seek out the information to contact them. I did a previous show on how important it is that you are of service to others and I again encourage you to do so. The prior show: RADIO SHOW/AUDIO PODCAST Solutions...with Courtney Anderson! (SwCA) Episode 026 - Originally aired 1/28/2014 9:00 AM - JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS! series - “BE OF SERVICE. In work. In life.”

You have the power to be extraordinary by being there and listening. Other people will avoid the pain that you volunteer to enter and share. You are a very special person. Thank you.

HELP RESOURCES:
Suicide prevention:
http://www.befrienders.org/
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/gethelp/international.aspx


Grief:
http://www.griefcounselors.org/resources.html
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspx
 http://helpwithgrief.org/index.html
http://www.massgeneral.org/psychiatry/services/anxiety_grief.aspx

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