In our HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT™ series, we shine the light on challenges that community members have shared. This episode is, “They Don’t Want Me Here.”
Rejection. Isolation. Shunned. Ostracized. Despised. Reviled. When we are somewhere that we are not wanted, it may hurt. We all crave acceptance, support and being embraced by others. In our families, in our social groups, with our romantic partners and friends we must be treated with affection, attention and acknowledgement. We design and choose (as adults) all of these relationships that we engage in on a daily basis. As we have discussed in many other programs, people who positively care about us, who are our friends all pass this test, “Our happiness is their happiness. Our hurt is their hurt. Our disappointment is their disappointment.” If a person is happy when we are hurt, they are not our friend and are not deserving of being in our close community of caring comprised of family and friends. Outside of our community of caring we interact with a very different population in terms of being wanted (i.e., at work and when dealing with the general public).The general public is not our community of caring. They (ideally) all each have their own community of caring as we do. The general public most often does not notice us. This is normal and expected with over seven billion people on our single planet! Of the small group of the general public that does notice us (we are coworkers, volunteers at the same organization, etc.), the majority of people are agnostic about us (i.e., they have no opinion about us at all). This is normal. They are not invested in our lives and although they may know our names they don’t think much about us at all (we simply are the person that sits at the front desk or brings the files to the meeting, etc.). There are very small general public populations that actively engage with noticing us and having a desire for us to leave (the office, the group, etc.). Remember, the opposite of love is ... Our FINANCIAL FIERCENESS!™ series integrates our financial goals into our development plan for surpassing our goals. We deal with the specific issues we need to explore in order to achieve (and surpass) our financial goals. This specific episode is “Getting ‘Rich’ is Easy. Staying ‘Rich’ is Hard. Why that is and how to beat the odds.”
As we have previously discussed in other programs, wealth is relative. A person will determine if they feel wealthy (or “rich”) based on their upbringing, culture, ethics, religious, spiritual, education, philosophical and political frameworks. If a person has more resources (or appears to have more resources) than other peers, it tends to make them feel wealthy. If a person has less resources (or appears to have less resources) than peers, they feel poor. I have known people who made $2,000 USD a month and felt very wealthy (as their peers made much less on fixed incomes of around $1,000 USD a month). I also have known people who made $60,000 USD a month who felt poor (as their peers made $100,000 USD a month). Once we have our basic necessities met in life, there is a universal human tendency to judge our economic ‘success’ relative to peer groups. This leads many people to try to spend money to seemingly match their peer behavior (i.e., keeping up with the Joneses). This is a large part of why people who have resources (aka “rich”) do not keep them. Consider: In the MYTH WARRIORS™ series we are targeting ideas to begin to assess whether they are credible or not. We are warriors fighting to establish clarity between what is accurate and what is simply a myth (or falsehood) in life. All of this is in furtherance of our mission to surpass our goals! In this episode we explore, “Stereotype Threat does not exist.”
What is a Stereotype?"Stereotypes are widely held cultural beliefs that are resistant to change." (Block, Koch, Liberman, Merriweather, & Roberson, 2011) What is Stereotype Threat? .... This HELP! Situation™ series addresses challenges, obstacles and problems (real or perceived) that are preventing a person from surpassing their goals! What is holding you back from surpassing your goals?
In this episode we examine the issue, "I Keep Getting Fired From Jobs! What Should I Do?” Why are you fired? Be honest. No excuses and/ or rationalizations. I have been fired (several decades ago when I was working minimum wage jobs in food service and retail). |
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