RADIO SHOW/AUDIO PODCAST
Solutions...with Courtney Anderson! (SwCA)
Episode 174 -
Originally aired 8/22/2014 9:00 AM -
MYTH WARRIORS! series -
“We All Need Someone To Believe In Us.”
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TALK SHOW EPISODE NOTESThis is an episode that I feel compelled to do! Our MYTH WARRIORS™ series is about targeting ideas to begin the assessment of whether they are credible or not. This episode topic is, “We All Need Someone To Believe In Us.”
No. We don’t need it. This is a myth. Definition of need: “: a situation in which someone or something must do or have something : something that a person must have : something that is needed in order to live or succeed or be happy : a strong feeling that you must have or do something” Need. (n.d.). Retrieved August 4, 2014, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/need We may want someone to believe in us. A want is not a need. The challenge is that if we convince ourselves of the lie (myth) that we need someone to believe in us and we don’t have anyone who does; we argue that we have to give up on life. No one believes in us. We don’t believe in ourselves. We engage in self-destructive behavior. We sabotage ourselves. We befriend bitterness, regret and anger. We waste each day mired in self-pity. Of course, it is wonderful if someone believes in you! If many people believe in you, congratulations! You are very fortunate! Yet, that is not a guarantee of any specific outcome (e.g., success, wealth, etc.). It is also not an entitlement. Just because your grandfather, sister, best friend and 7th grade teacher believe in you and have told you that you are special and super-awesome, does not mean that the rest of the world shares that same sentiment. We are all judged as adults as individuals. Potential is just that. It is not purpose and it is not rewarded. We all have potential. The issue with this show topic is that both ends of the spectrum are susceptible to self-destructive behavior. The individual with several people sharing how much they believe in them may become a dependent person paralyzed by the argument that they are “scared they will disappoint” their believers. The person who has no believers is paralyzed by the argument that they are ‘worthless’ evidenced by the dearth of believers. There is no ‘magic’ that eliminates the need for us to have an ongoing, independent, assessment framework for our own self-worth and happiness. Some suggestions we discuss in the show: 1) Letter to yourself (as a believer). This is not some farfetched whimsical exercise in futility. Consider, “What would employers say about the MBA candidates at MIT’s Sloan School of Management? That’s for applicants to decide. The school’s new essay prompt will instruct applicants to do a different kind of self-reflection by writing “a professional letter of recommendation on behalf of yourself.” (http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2014-06-13/new-mit-sloan-application-requirements-ask-students-to-write-their-own-recommendation-letters) For people healing from moral injuries (from war, traumatic grief, etc.), “group members are invited to write a letter to themselves from a benevolent figure in their lives – a spouse, or grandfather, or mentor – to explain how they feel and to imagine what this person would say in response.” (http://projects.huffingtonpost.com/moral-injury/healing) 2) Be of service to others. You will gain perspective on your own behavior. This show discusses it. Don’t accede to being a prisoner of what other people think of you. Make your own decisions about yourself. Life your own life. |
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