RADIO SHOW/AUDIO PODCAST
Solutions...with Courtney Anderson! (SwCA)
Episode 165 -
Originally aired 8/11/2014 9:00 AM -
HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT series -
"I Was Taught That I Have to Be Twice As Good As Them…and I Am Exhausted."
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TALK SHOW EPISODE NOTESIn our HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT™ series, we shine the light on challenges that community members have shared. This episode is, “ I Was Taught That I Have to Be Twice As Good As Them…and I Am Exhausted."
This is an episode that I feel very strongly about! The central question is who is in charge of your life? Is it you? Or, someone or something else? If you are in charge of your life then you define your goals, your value and your experiences. If you accede that power over your life to other people or entities then they will define your goals, your value and your experiences. How much money should you make per year? What type of neighborhood should you live in? Either you will decide or someone (or something) else will decide. When do you decide that you have done your best (versus when you have more to give)? What is ‘good enough’ and what constitutes success? When you choose to let other people or entities make these decisions they will have their own ideas of how much money you will earn (especially as it relates to how much money they earn), where you will live (by determining how much you will be able to spend on housing as part of your salary) and everything else in your life. If you elect to exercise your own personal power over your life, then you decide. Are you qualified for a job? You decide. How much money will you earn this year? You decide. What type of neighborhood will you live in? You decide. What if you are operating under the understanding that everything you do is weighed down by some aspects of who you are? That you are running the race of life with heavy weights around your ankles that slow you down? That the weights make you have to run twice as fast as other people (those without weights) just to have any opportunity at finishing (or competing to win) the race? Many of us have cultural, societal, family, or other group feedback that taught us from an early age that we are weighed down. That when we run in the race of life we have to overcompensate for who we are (e.g., gender, ethnicity, religion, socioeconomic group, national origin, disabilities, color, size, etc.) by laboring at least twice as hard as those who are free of the weights we bear. Are some of us given specific information that who we are is a liability and that we have to work at least twice as hard as people without our burdens? Yes. Here is an example of this language (being twice as good) from a fictional television show out of the US, Scandal: “Rowan: Did I not raise you for better? How many times have I told you? You have to be what? Olivia: Twice as good. Rowan: You have to be twice as good as them to get half of what they have.” (http://www.salon.com/2013/10/04/scandals_racially_charged_motto_you_have_to_be_twice_as_good_as_them/) Here is an example of this language (being twice as good) from a biography title about a real life US former Secretary of State, “Twice As Good: Condoleezza Rice and Her Path to Power.” (http://www.amazon.com/Twice-As-Good-Condoleezza-Power/dp/B001FOR6EI) I have to share that I was in the audience a few years ago at an educational event where Ms. Rice was the keynote speaker. She was eloquent and powerful. What do a fictional television show and a real life biography have in common that results in the language regarding being “twice as good” appearing? The most simple similarities are that the real life person and the actress on the fictional television show (Kerry Washington) represent highly successful individuals (as does the character on the television show in many aspects). Serving as US Secretary of State and having a lead acting role on a national television show are not similar professional accomplishments in terms of content area expertise yet they are both noteworthy accomplishments in their respective fields. The concept of working twice as hard is certainly a potential contributor to accomplishing high levels of success (in any field). In addition, the real life stateswoman and the actress in the lead role both have invested in formal education: Condoleezza Rice, as per Stanford University (http://fsi.stanford.edu/people/condoleezza_rice/), was, “Born in Birmingham, Alabama, Rice earned her bachelor's degree in political science, cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa, from the University of Denver; her master's from the University of Notre Dame; and her Ph.D. from the Graduate School of International Studies at the University of Denver.” Kerry Washington, also a Phi Beta Kappa member (http://www.keyreporter.org/AlumniNews/MemberSpotlight/Details/738.html ) and as per The New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/movies/person/281843/Kerry-Washington/biography), ”Institution - Spence School Location - New York, NY Year range - 1994 Institution - George Washington University Location - Washington , Washington D.C. Major - Theater Degree - Bachelors of Arts, B.A. Year range - 1998” Okay, so we have that both of these individuals are accomplished in their respective fields, both invested in formal education, and both are members of Phi Beta Kappa (The Nation's Oldest and Most Widely Known Academic Honor Society as per http://www.pbk.org/infoview/PBK_InfoView.aspx?t=&id=8). Is there anything else? These individuals are the same gender, have broadly similar complexions, are both US citizens and are in the public eye. I do admire people who invest in education (formal and/ or information) and those who surpass their goals! The question is whether it is reasonable for a person born today to expend twice as much energy and work at all times for their entire lives without being exhausted at some point? There are challenges that we all face. How do we pursue excellence, embrace joy, have a fulfilling and rewarding life and not exhaust all of our resources (mental, physical, emotional, etc.)? Let’s address some of the reasons that people are told to be “twice as good” and how that impacts their lives. I was told that I had to be “twice as good” and in some ways it is a motivator to achieve and surpass goals. There are also negative consequences that we must be aware of as we live our lives. Let’s talk about it! |
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