Shunned. Ostracized. Despised. Reviled.
When we are somewhere that we are not wanted, it may hurt. We all crave acceptance, support and being embraced by others. In our families, in our social groups, with our romantic partners and friends we must be treated with affection, attention and acknowledgement. We design and choose (as adults) all of these relationships that we engage in on a daily basis. As we have discussed in many other programs, people who positively care about us, who are our friends all pass this test, “Our happiness is their happiness. Our hurt is their hurt. Our disappointment is their disappointment.” If a person is happy when we are hurt, they are not our friend and are not deserving of being in our close community of caring comprised of family and friends.
Outside of our community of caring we interact with a very different population in terms of being wanted (i.e., at work and when dealing with the general public).The general public is not our community of caring. They (ideally) all each have their own community of caring as we do. The general public most often does not notice us. This is normal and expected with over seven billion people on our single planet! Of the small group of the general public that does notice us (we are coworkers, volunteers at the same organization, etc.), the majority of people are agnostic about us (i.e., they have no opinion about us at all). This is normal. They are not invested in our lives and although they may know our names they don’t think much about us at all (we simply are the person that sits at the front desk or brings the files to the meeting, etc.). There are very small general public populations that actively engage with noticing us and having a desire for us to leave (the office, the group, etc.). Remember, the opposite of love is ...